Bringing Your Family

If you are married, you may be thinking about having your spouse and/or your children accompany you to the U.S. for all or part of your academic program. This is a big decision, which each family ultimately needs to weigh based on its individual circumstances. Here are some of the issues you might want to consider.

On the positive side, the opportunity to immerse oneself in a foreign culture can be a life-enriching experience, and you may be looking forward to sharing this experience with your spouse and children. Exposure to an English-speaking environment—especially for children—can greatly facilitate the learning of English and provide a lifelong benefit for each member of your family. As an international student or scholar far from home, moreover, you may find that having your family with you in the U.S. provides you with a source of emotional support and enables you to avoid the anxiety of a long separation or of worrying about how they are doing at home without you.

On the other hand, bringing your family to the U.S. can add considerably to the cost of your stay, at a time when your budget may already be tight. You will need to provide proof that you have sufficient funds to support your family members in the U.S. before being able to secure visas for them. You can expect your expenses to be significantly higher, especially for housing, food, and health insurance. Since it may be impossible for your spouse to work, you may not be able to count on supplementary income that you may be accustomed to at home. Finally, the presence of family members dealing with their own adjustment issues can sometimes pose difficult demands on your time or attention and possibly distract you from your primary goal of completing your degree program or research project.

Here are some things to think about as you plan whether or not to bring your family with you. (And don’t forget the third option—many international students and scholars choose to leave their families at home but arrange to have them travel to the U.S. for a temporary visit of a month or so.)

Family Housing

International students and scholars report that finding suitable and affordable housing is one of the biggest obstacles to having their families with them in the New York area. It’s a good idea to have your spouse and/or children delay their arrival until you have arranged a place for your family to live. This is especially important if you have school-age children whom you want to enroll in public school, since the school they attend will depend upon where you reside.

Check with your academic institution to see if married student housing is available. The off-campus student housing office is another good source of options for apartments suitable for families. Faculty in your department may know of available housing; let all your local friends and any relatives know that you are looking. Be sure to consult Metro International’s Help Yourself to Housing for additional tips.

Childcare

Children under the age of four or five are not eligible for public school, so if you and/or your spouse have young children and are unable to care for them at all times, you will need to explore other childcare options. Young children should never be left alone; parents who do so may be subject to legal action. Unless you are lucky enough to have relatives in the New York area, the extended family that may help with childcare in your home country will not be available, and there are no government-provided nursery or daycare facilities.

Childcare options include daycare centers and private nursery schools, where you pay to enroll your child in a program, and private babysitters, who may care for one or several children simultaneously, either in their own homes or in your home. The student employment office on your campus is a good place to look for students who are available to work as babysitters for an hourly wage. Before hiring any childcare provider, you should always ask for references and arrange to speak with parents for whom the person has previously worked. For daycare centers, a good place to begin your research is online at www.naeyc.org/accreditation/search/ .

Schooling for Your Children

By law in New York, any child between the ages of 5 and 21 who has not already received a high school diploma is entitled to attend public school free of charge. In New York City, your child may start public school in September of the year that he or she turns five. In some areas, there are public pre-kindergarten (“pre-K”) programs available for 4-year olds, but places may be limited and cannot be guaranteed.

The New York City public school system is large and complex; it serves over 1 million students and includes 1,200 schools. The public school your child may attend usually depends upon the “zone” in which you are living. Official information on finding your zoned school and learning about other options can be found on the website of the New York City Department of Education; see www.nycenet.edu/OurSchools/default.htm ; see also “A Guide for Parents and Families” www.nycenet.edu/childrenfirst/CFParentGuide.pdf .

Here are some other useful websites:
    http://home.earthlink.net/~schoolsandyou/textdocs/resources.html
    http://www.insideschools.org/st/ST_start.php
    http: //pubadvocate.nyc.gov/pdf/EducatorsHelpingParents.pdf

If you plan to enroll your child in public school, you will need to present a copy of the child’s birth certificate and proof of required immunizations. The school year begins in early September and ends in mid to late June.

Private (independent) schools, including those with a religious affiliation, are also available throughout the New York area. Students must go through an application and testing process, and tuition can be quite expensive. For information on these options, see:
    www.nais.org/admission/schoolSearch.cfm
(for independent schools)
    www.ny-archdiocese.org/education/Search_For_School_1.cfm
(for Catholic schools)

Your Spouse

It’s a good idea to do some advance thinking about how your spouse will spend his/her time in the U.S. If your spouse is not as fluent in English as you are, be prepared for the language barrier to pose a handicap, at least initially. If your spouse is employed or has a professional career in your home country, he or she will need to prepare for the potential frustration of not being eligible to work in the U.S. (Spouses of students on F-1 visas are not allowed to work; spouses of J-1 students/scholars may work only under specific circumstances. Consult the international student advisor on your campus.)

Fortunately, the New York City area provides an abundance of resources to help support international spouses. Begin with the international student office at your institution and see what special programs or services they may offer. These may include regular spouse club meetings, free or low-cost English language lessons, and other activities.

Metro International is another good resource, offering a special International Spouse Network run by spouses, for spouses. Most of Metro’s other programs are also open to family members, and there are also opportunities for spouses to volunteer their time to help with tasks in the office. Another excellent volunteer opportunity is Metro’s Global Classroom program through which international students/scholars and their spouses can visit New York City schools and make presentations on their home countries and cultures. For additional ideas, see the section “Resources for International Students”.